Me no get it. My Mommy Meremi made the joke that she *did* have a secret masculine pair of guardians: their names were Smith & Wesson (this particular body couldn't hit an elephant from point-blank range).
Once, about five years ago. I was going through a really hard time and was hurting myself a lot. Or trying to. Whenever I wanted to hurt myself I felt like someone was holding on to me and comforting me, and it drove away all my self-harm intentions.
At one point I just freaked out and hurt myself anyway and he never came back.
No one. I've always been godless. It would be nice to feel like there was someone/something out there though... whether a guardian or just a watchful presence or anything like that. But I killed any hope of that with my science and now I'm alone :\
It's fucked up. I'm kin and yet spirituality continues to evade me and leaves me jealous of all those who have 'something' out there beyond the neurons firing in their brains.
Whelp... whatever XD; I can be happy for you and your kind at the same time as seething with envy over my lack of ability to do ANYTHING spiritual with my beliefs and my life.
Don't mind me. Bad day x.x I hope things are improving for you, anyway :)
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overlord_mordax) wrote2010-03-20 09:17 pm
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Kameshi Heshatani.
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At one point I just freaked out and hurt myself anyway and he never came back.
Although I wonder if he'd come back if I called.
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It's fucked up. I'm kin and yet spirituality continues to evade me and leaves me jealous of all those who have 'something' out there beyond the neurons firing in their brains.
Whelp... whatever XD; I can be happy for you and your kind at the same time as seething with envy over my lack of ability to do ANYTHING spiritual with my beliefs and my life.
Don't mind me. Bad day x.x I hope things are improving for you, anyway :)
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