Your definition actually is one I can relate to on some level, as there have been times during my soul-searching that I have been tempted to focus on advancing my own desires and my sense of social deviancy while gradually moving away from the notion of altruism(In other words, helping others without expecting anything in return). While I'm trying, these days, to strike a balance between selfishness and selflessness, I can empathize with why you have taken an "evil" path. I'll admit there's still a shred of the demonic in me, for better or worse.

Also, yeah, I saw your latest LJ post. I'd like to say there's something in the air, but really, I guess its something we go through when there's nothing to tie us to who we are; and so much social shame attached to being it.

Yeah, it's frustrating when we have these parts of ourselves that feel very real, but have nothing to validate them with. It's also unfortunate that we tend to get labeled as useless escapists who are detached from reality. I feel that it's been helping for me to just take a few moments every now and then to just calmly listen to what my soul may be saying. It certainly feels better than attacking myself for not being exactly what society says that I should be.