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Its been my ambition for almost a decade to do an english version of Xelloss' Slayers Next image song. I'm rather fond of the lyrics I came up with.

On the other hand I will be the FIRST to admit that my singing voice is really, really terrible- both flat and nasally. I'll also blame the crappy mic. If someone else would like to take a crack at singing this, I would be absolutely delighted!

Lyrics under the cut )
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Well, since everyone's coming clean and laying themselves bare, I think I'll add mine to the pot.

I can't fucking stand toast. For serious, gimmee plain old bread any day of the week.


PS: If anyone is wondering why I'm not on AIM, its because I'm at my bf's house.
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Well, neither of us usually answers these questions, but this one seemed to be too good to pass up,

Our birth name "Greer" is the name we've both had to answer to since childhood, obviously. As such, while it applies to both of us, neither really "owns" it. We've come to think of "Greer" as a gestalt entity; the two of us functioning together. The person that those who know us as one person see.

As a person who is male, but female-bodied, I very much appreciate the androgyny inherent in the name. I'm sure people who see it written down without meeting me have no idea what gender to expect. On the otherhand, as above, it's not really *my* name. I did, a number of years ago, go searching for a name to call my own. I tried on a few, but I ended up with David, which I really think expresses my inner self. Traditional, solid, unassuming, etc. A lot of trasgendered guys that I'm familiar with pick very 'trendy' and modern names, which I suppose is nice, but it feels a biut cliche and "not me". I'm not an Aidan or a Cameron. Maybe an Arthur or a James, but really, I think I settled on my ideal name long ago.


I like names. I collect them like old ladies with Precious Moments statues. I have a ton; and Im not particularly fond of "Greer" its just so plain and unimpressive. But I already talked about my name a while ago here



May. 8th, 2010 11:20 am
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So, there's a new big ARG/Viral Marketing campaign starting up that I'm excited about.

This one is for JJ Abrams new movie "Super 8", which is set in the 70s and about aliens, the trailer for which is running before Iron Man 2.

I'm not really interested in the film itself, but big budget ARGs always have something to bring to the table with their cash-reserves that grass roots games can't manage. Plus, an ARG on a national scale always has a bigger community, which is nice.

If you're interested, you can read the dissection so far here at UF.

There's only one site involved so far and it appears to be a glorified countdown, but it's pretty intriguing and worth checking out.

-"Detective" D
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A long time ago I was one of the main authors in a shared fanfiction universe for the Matrix.

I left my characters in a really dire situation when I quit, and its haunted me for quite some time.

I finally went back, and gave them an ending.



Ooh, ohh! Now I can say it! THIS Vincent!


ETA: *facepalm* I accidentally uploaded it onto the wrong account initially,. *sigh* I'm an idiot.

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I was holding off on posting this until I could get pics up, but I still can't find my goddam motherfucking shitty mini usb cable to get them off my camera.

So, report now, pics later.

Toracon 2010 (Saturday) started for us at 8 a.m. with 2 hours of standing in line. In fairness, this would have been the outcome no matter when we got there, and even if we had preordered. Once registration actually started, at 9, the line moved along steadily, if not as quickly as I’d have liked. But hey, it was a long line and they only had like, 5 people handling registrations (and 5 handling pre-reg).

Billy West was supposed to be at the Con, but sadly, he had plane difficulties, and all of his Saturday events were cancelled. Sad. :(

We didn’t miss anything with all the line-standing, however, getting in at 10, when things were just warming up. We headed over to check out the freshly opened Artist Alley and Vendor room. Artist Alley was the usual mix of prints, stickers, plushies and kitty ears, etc. None of the tables really stood out to me (as horrible or spectacular) but one little table was pretty dear to my heart: they got stuck in the very back corner of the room where a dead end was. The traffic jam was terrible! To be fair, they probably benefitted from it in the end. At the very least at the end of the day they sold out of all of the little bells on ribbons they’d had on our first peek into the room, and most of their ears and tails as well. There was also a booth selling little clay figurines of anime characters; those were pretty cute, too.

The Vendor room seemed rather chaotically put together this year, and it was hard to navigate or establish a flow of traffic. It didn’t help that it was in the same large hall as Artist Alley, separated by a thin curtain that naturally had to be guarded at all times to prevent people from going through it. That said, the vendor stalls seemed larger this year, and there were definitely a couple of new sellers, which was nice. I usually don’t buy things in the vendor room, but in this case I was persuaded to get a fan, and also bought some pocky to break a five and go back and get a bell-on-ribbon. XD

I then attended one of the first panels/discussions of the day, one on starting your own webcomics. It was informative in a very 101 way (well, it Waaas for beginners) and the speakers went over basic stuff about the different kinds of webcomics, where to get hosting, how to advertise, etc. No real rocket science, but some good tips, and one of the speakers, Adam Smithee (of Apple of Discord) was quite amusing to listen to. I would have liked to attend his later panel on how NOT to write a webcomic, but it was on Sunday, unfortunately.

After that we had a quick lunch of some truly bland subs in the RIT cafeteria. Food has always been one of the problems of Toracon. With a hotel there’s often a restaurant on site, or fast food within walking distance, but food on campus is REALLLY limited. They should really invite weenie-cart hot-dog vendors of something. One thing I have to say is a thing of mine, is seeing people in cosplay eat while dressed up. I donno, it really amuses me to see Naruto chowing down on a slice of pizza or something. Heh.

Our brief lunch gave us plenty of time to get in line for the Anime Human Chess Match in the auditorium. I was really excited for it, because the past two years I’d missed it entirely. We had about a half an hour’s wait, but were up front when they started letting people in and got FANTASTIC seats, right up by the stage. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but the whole thing was hilarious. Not only were the costumes great, but it seemed everyone had really rehearsed well and for a long time. The choreography was good, and they really made the best out of some of the participant’s martial arts/acrobatic skills. The guy playing Sheik was especially brilliant. The whole thing was very funny, with decent acting from amateurs, and it didn’t seem to drag or overstay its welcome. Having an extremely creepy Pedobear as the villain was a great move, too. Heh. The one technical hitch, I think, was sometimes the music/sfx would get cut off a little abruptly, but it wasn’t too bad.

Next I was planning on seeing the AMV contest, but it wouldn’t start for a while, so I went and got a seat in the room beforehand, inadvertently catching the second half of the Vocaloid panel. (Some other people had the same idea XD.) The guy in charge of the panel seemed to really know his stuff, he did a question and answer session, which I’m sure would have been very helpful for those who wanted to do volcaloid. It was neat seeing a projection on the software too; I had never quite realized how powerful it was.

The AMV contest started up thankfully with very little technical difficulties. There are always some, but this year the start of the contest was only delayed a few minutes while they rebooted the laptop, and there were absolutely no hitches once the videos got started. I adore AMVs and the contest had some real talent. (I’m thinking about entering next year.) My favorite video was a Gurren Lagann one in the Drama category to Kamelot’s “Forever”, which was really, physically moving, and the song is both fantastic, and REALLY appropriate to the anime. Also I was surprised, because the two Code Geass videos in the competition were actually pretty good, and its an anime I’ve never seen, and am prejudiced against, so kudos to the editors who were able to get me past that and into their videos. The highlight of the comedy portion was definitely “Shoryuken? Sure you can!” a multi-anime video to some song I don’t know that sampled “Kung fu fighting”, but anyway, the video was of various anime characters playing fighting video games. It was great.

The cosplay contest was next, and I wasn’t about to leave the AMVs early to get back into the crowded auditorium, so I just stayed put for the simulcast. Well, I tried to stay put; they kicked us out for a few minute to do something with the tech, I guess. The must have botched it, because the simulcast started late, and they had to repeat the walk-on portion of the contest for our benefit. That was fine. The real travesty of the show however was the skit/talent portion. …it…it was just bad. I don’t like to put people down for doing what they love, but sweet merciful Shabrunigdo, they are ALL AWFUL. *facepalm* Seriously, if you’re going to do a dance thing, practice it more than once. And they were ALL dancing. There was only one actual skit, and it was… kinda surreal; it was about a ballet instructor… I think. Anyway, the less said about the whole thing, the better. The people with the best costumes won in the end anyway. The Team Fortress 2 crew was fantastic, and was rewarded accordingly, but best in show went to this girl who had an AMAZING recreation of the Hatter’s costume from TB’s Alice. It was… absolutely stunning. The girl herself was possessed of an unexpected quiet dignity as well, and even maintained it when the audience called for the dreaded “Futterwacken” dance, which she then preformed, as closely as humanly possible, in dignified silence. It was great. She gets my thumbs up.

It was 8:30 at that point, and I headed over to a panel I’d been planning to attend all day, not because I was super into it, but because it was really the only thing going on at the time besides the concert which we really had no interest in. This was ‘The History of Giant Mecha in anime’. Unfortunately, after I got there, I ended up (with the rest of the attendees) waiting, and waiting and waiting. The guy who was supposed to lecture actually NEVER showed up. However, just as we were giving up, 25 minutes into our time slot, Adam Smithee, the guy from the webcomic panel (who had a different Mecha panel on Sunday) showed up, and volunteered to talk. This turned out to be a FANTASTIC turn of events. The guy really knew his stuff, and was about 50x funnier than he was that morning. He really got me into it, and I’ve never been a fan of giant mecha, but now I have a list of like four shows I want to see. It was great, and a good note to end the day on.

I would have loved to have stayed for the late-night panels and discussions, but sadly, the person I’d come with had to work the next morning, and I would have to get up at 8:30 myself to go to the Doll show with my grandma.

All in all, I really think we did Toracon right this year. Yeah, there were a few hitches, but I mostly got to be where I wanted to be, and see what I wanted to see. I’ll definitely be coming back for my fourth year in a row next year.
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I was moved to write a letter to the new company that's got the SH property; I thought I'd let you all see it as well.

Letter under cut )
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I’ve known about the Phantom of the Opera sequel for years now; back when it was an abandoned idea of ALW’s that he had someone make into a novel (The Phantom of Manhattan) presumably because investors knew a bad idea when they saw one.

Well, Lloyd Webber managed to get some stupider investors, or ponied up the money himself and last year the world found Phantom of Manhattan reborn as an upcoming stage musical Phantom: Love Never Dies.

When I heard about it, I immediately assumed that the worst part about it would be the plot. For those of you unfamiliar, Phantom of Manhattan went like this: The Phantom escaped after the events of the musical, and went to live in America, where he pretty much founded Coney Island. Yes, really. He builds an opera house, and under a fake name invites Christine (now a famous singer, married to Raul, with a child) to come and sing at the grand opening. Raul, as it turns out, has walked straight out of some E/C fanfiction and is now a drunk gambler one step away from abusive. They go to Coney Island. There’s a lot of pointless bickering. Erik reveals himself. Christine reveals that her son is Erik’s not Raul’s, and that she always loved him. Erik’s psychotic Hindu business partner fatally shoots Christine.

I’m not making the above up.

And, it turns out the only thing they’re changing for Love Never Dies is that there’s no crazy Hindu business partner. Instead, Meg Giry, Christine’s friend from the original, goes crazy and does the shooting. Because….I don’t exactly know why. Cuz she crazy.

So, suffice it to say that I was already set up to hate the plot. But hey, it’s a musical! I love Musicals! I love Andrew Lloyd Webber! And its not like there aren’t musicals I hate the plot of. I mean, I adore Jesus Christ Superstar. So when the soundtrack for Love Never Dies came out a few days ago, I was like YEAH, boss! Sweet, music! I’ll just listen to it for what it is; bad fanfiction!

Unfortunately, the music leaves almost as much to be desired as the plot does. Maybe it’s partly the plot’s fault, after all, the music in a musical must drive the plot, but somehow, it falls on its face.

In general, the tone of the music doesn’t flow well or naturally from the original. Though I tried to judge it on its own merits, I kept thinking ‘this doesn’t sound like Phantom’, ‘this doesn’t sound like how these characters would be singing’. PoTO was… operatic, it was strongly melodic, forcefully, building. LND isn’t set at the Paris Opera, its set on Coney Island in the early 1900s, so it sounds kinda…vaudville, and while I’m sure that was intentional, and it does set the scene, it just feels like a let down; it lacks in scope and power when compared to the original.

Additionally, the women who play Meg Giry and Madame Giry have these awful screeching harpy voices. I hope to gods they are not actually French, because they have the stupidest sounding accents I’ve heard this side of the old Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon.

Speaking of which, many of the songs sound extremely cartoony, and I’m talking second-rate Disney knockoff, not Beauty and the Beast. It’s at its worst whenever the choir girls are singing, specifically in “Only for Him/Only for You” but it comes through a bit even in the songs that you can tell were supposed to be the ‘big numbers’.

Contrariwise some of the songs are just bland. ‘Til I Hear you Sing’, which is obviously intended to be LND’s ‘Music of the Night’, is a tender, pining love song; the Phantom is thinking of Christine and wishing she would come back to him. It’s actually quite lovely, a bit catchy, and the man who sings does a decent job of emoting. The problem is the song is symptomatic of everything that’s wrong in LND. ‘Til I Hear you Sing’ is so bland and non-specific, it could be from ANY leading male to his leading lady. In fact, without changing the words at all, it could easily be sung by another “Eric”. Prince Eric from Disney’s Little Mermaid. (Good idea for a fanvid, actually). The tune is pretty, and the longing and love for Christine is evident; but there’s none of the half-psychotic passion that the Phantom evidenced in MoTN. There’s nothing creepy, or wrong about it. It’s a boy losses girl song, and I can listen to one of those anywhere. It doesn’t fit the Phantom at all.

A song that really does bring on the creepy passion is ‘Beauty Underneath’, and it has problems of its own. This song maps thematically best to ‘Past the Point of No Return’ from the original. It’s a kind of rock/punk duet (a genre that contrasts WILDLY with the rest of the music) and it’s about accepting the weird and dangerous as beautiful. Its pretty intense, and the lyrics are very interesting, and there is great, creepy chemistry between the two singers. And herein lies the main problem of the song, aside from it being musically outside of the rest of the songs; the singers are the Phantom, and his young, unknowing illegitimate son. Clearly the intent is to show how much the boy is like his father, but it really, REALLY sounds like a seduction to the dark side song. And at the end, the Phantom exposes himself to the boy, who screams. I mean, he takes off his mask, obviously.

The song I actually really like is ‘Devil Take the Hindmost’ (as those of you who see my Twitter might have guessed). It’s a duet/argument between the Phantom and Raul, where Phantom basically double dog dares Raul to use Christine as stakes in a bet. It’s hilarious. Its also one of the few songs where the Phantom actually sounds angry, which I absolutely adore. The song is very back and forth, and it’s a FANTASTIC bout of male bickering, that sort of reminds me of Jesus and Judas bitching at one another in Gethsemane in JSC. (“Why don’t you go do it?” “You want me to do it” “Hurry, they’re waiting…”) Here the line that really gets me giggling is Raul’s repeated, petulant reply of “FINE!” to the Phantom’s stakes. I really recommend this song for hawt male bitchitude, and treating women like property to be won or lost. *drool*

What I’m really trying to say here, is there are things that I liked, musically, about Love Never Dies, they’re just few and far between, and almost completely divorced from the things I liked musically about Phantom of the Opera.

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...driven me to drink.

I needed a large dose of hard alchohol after seeing the most recent episode 'Dr. Linus'.

You know, I always surprise myself; I talk up how 'evil' I am, and I don't expect many people to really believe me,. But at the end of the day there is a huge, dominant part of me, that really, honestly is repulsed and confused by the very concept of 'good' or 'altruism'.

-(a rather drunken) Mordax
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Since religion, the occult, etc, gets discussed with some frequency here, I thought it might be helpful and/or interesting to some of you, to know what my real, familial religious background has been. The answer is... total shambles.

198X-90: Unitarian Universalist Church in LA:
The first church David and I remember attending is this one, in LA when we were between 2 and 4 years old. Looking back it was really more of a social club than a church, but I think our parents felt obligated to attend some kind of services now that they had children. In fact, dad taught Sunday School to 8 year olds at this church, which, if any of you know our dad, should elicit a shudder. We were apparently well enough liked there that they gave us a basket of money when we moved across the country. Or maybe they just wanted us gone.

The most memorable thing for me about the UU in LA was out behind the building was an enormous Weeping Willow tree that sort of made its own, natural room. We would run off and sit by it quite often, and it may have counted as our first magical experience because I remember believing that there were fairies that lived there. Unfortunately it happened so long ago I no longer remember whether I genuinely believed there were fairies there for an outside reason, or had simply convinced myself there were because it was neat. I mean come on, I was three years old.

1991ish: Unitarian Universalist Church in rural NY: At this point we had moved from LA and settled into a more suburban life. Mom and dad still apparently felt the need to see to our religious tutelage, but little did they know that I was going to put the breaks on that and HOW.

At this point we were 5ish, and David and I were beginning to delineate ourselves more, mentally, though neither of us knew about the other then. So here we were, in an attic room with 6 other kids and a nice young lady sunday school teacher, when, and I SHIT YOU NOT, I declared that I worshipped Satan. But that's not all, I mean, it's UU, they probably would have been okay with that. BUt then, I took a pair of scissors and I hacked off a lock of the teacher's hair. What was I going to do with it? I sure as hell don't know. But that marked the end of our religious upbringing for quite some time.

The most remarkable thing for me about the UU in NY is I don't know how I even knew about Satan at that age.

1993?94?: Wicca Circle in rural NY: We still lived in the same 'burb in UNY at this point, but no attempts at organized religion had been attempted in quite some time. In fact, this period of religious activity didn't actually involved David and me in any way, but it made such an impression that I include it here anyway.

My dad, who is an old, crazy hippie (and that only begins to describe him) high priest-ed for a wicca group made up of teen-aged girls from the apartment complex, and our then-resident couch-surfer, Larry.

I remember not knowing what the hell was going on, except that they kept a chalice in the basement; and the one time I snuck down and sat on the stairs all I heard was some weird chanting. Shortly afterwards I swiped my dad's book 'Bucklands Guide to Witchcraft', and the whole thing really lost its appeal in a swarm of boring.

The most remarkable thing for me about the Wicca Circle was that it was my first real-life exposure to magic and paganism, and I was distinctly unimpressed.

1995-97: Presbyterian Church in the City: I guess when we moved from our apartment in the 'burbs to a sufficiently distant area of the city dad felt it was time to give the whole 'God' thing a try again with me. I think they mostly did it to try and make friends, or maybe they did it because the pastors lived a couple of houses from us and had invited us.

This was my first brush with real, solid organized religion, and we were actually involved in the church for a good length of time, considering the past. David, as I understand it, actually made a go of the whole 'believing in God' thing around this time. For me it was more of a social thing, as I had learned how to behave in public, and we were put, because of our precocious and advanced nature, with the young Teen-age youth group, instead of with the Sunday School. Or maybe they thought I was a teenager; we had boobs at the point. I donno.

Anyway, we were actually pretty involved with this church; going every Sunday, attending youth-group functions like the sleep-over at the church. I slept in a pew! That was kind of cool. We even were a camp counselor at the Vacation Bible Camp the church held, where I insisted on putting 'Dragon' on our name-tag, because the woman wouldn't allow 'Demon'. We actually attended the church longer than the rest of the family, and dad walked us down the block or two from our house every Sunday without Mom or our brother for a couple of months. However, eventually my crush on the pastor's son faded, and David's faith in the Lord petered out, and we stopped going.

The most remarkable thing about the Presbyterian Church for me was how different it was compared to everything we'd been exposed to previously. It was my first experience with anyone of actual religious conviction.

1997ish: Church of Christian Science: Okay, I only ever attended two or three of these services (and Lectures!) with my then best friend, but it left a pretty big impact on me. We also hung out in the Christian Science Reading Room while her mother ran it, a few times. My greatest triumph here was sneaking around the church after service with my sweet, religious friend, and convincing her to help me steal gum from someone's office desk.

The most remarkable thing about Christian Science for me is how mind-numbingly, foot-draggingly BORING it was, in comparison with any other service I had attended. There wasn't even any singing!

1998/9: Catholic Church in the 'burbs in NY: This church we only attended because mom and dad were putting us and our brother into Catholic school. The church wasn't a requirement, so I don't exactly know what their logic was. Maybe mom wanted to find her relationship with god again, because I remember her trying to get dad to get baptized.

We didn't attend for very long, because honestly I couldn't *stand* it. Somehow these people made the gospel simultaneous my boring, AND more annoying than I ever remember the Presbyterians doing . I refused to take communion. I pretty much flatly refused to participate, and soon, I refused to get out of bed to attend.

The most remarkable thing about the Catholic Church for me was how much more into it I would have been if they still said the damned thing in Latin.

1998-2004: All Girls Catholic High School: Our parents, full of fear and loathing at the local public school system, forced me into an all girls Catholic School. This was awkward on several levels, because neither of really believed in God, let alone the Catholic one, I was getting into paganism, and David was starting to realize he wasn't female, while I was starting to realize I detested the company of females. But relevant here is that we were forced into mass at school every month or so, had to say prayers before classes, and were required to attend a myriad of theology courses.

This is where we really learned the most about Christianity, I think. We never got anything below a 90 in theology class, and have actually read most of the Bible, which I am sure many of you reading would be surprised to know. Its actually rather interesting if you take it as a competing mythology rather than a hard fact.

The most remarkable thing for me about our Catholic education is what it did to our vocabulary. To this day I can't seem to escape exclamations like 'Mother of God!', and make way too many biblical allusions for my own liking.

2001ish: Loki and the Norse ways: This chronology is really only meant to list my formal/parental religious upbringing, but I can't get away without mentioning this. When I was 15 years old I dreamed I was at a great feast, where all the Norse gods were, and on my left was Loki, who had invited me there. After some more research on the subject, I dedicated myself to him, as the only god in the only pantheon, in this world's mythology that was worth my time.

Various: My dad never could seem to make his mind up about what he believed, and what he thought I should believe. He's claimed at different times to be an Atheist, a Wiccan, a Voodoo Priest, an evil magician, a devout Catholic, and totally uninterested. It's all been very confusing.
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The past, what, week and a half, has been a special kind of purgatory for me; a kind of experience many of you reading this could only imagine. My detractors would say that I could only imagine it as well. Before this, I was nearly ready to agree with them.

I don’t know how many of you are really aware of this, but for a while now it’s been an open secret that I, the Digimon Kaizer, was previous to that life, a mazoku in service to Xelloss and Lord Beastmaster. Some of you don’t even know what that is. I doubt any of you know what it really means.

More than a thousand years ago I sold my soul to the mazoku at the price of power and eternal life. While it was a major transition, it was really only another step down a path I had been walking since my early childhood. It was Beast Priest Xelloss who started me on the path of sorcery, and it was he who took me further down the path of destruction when he made me his true servant shortly before the kouma war.

Never in all those years of that life, or the accidental next, did I regret that transformation and bonding. Indeed thoughts of my master have often buoyed my flagging spirits in these my years bound to a human body. I await with anticipation the day that my master can break my chains and restore me to my rightful place by his side.

However, the mazoku spirit and the human brain/mind/body are almost catastrophically incompatible. Those of you who have seen Slayers know what happened to the Demon Dragon King Gaav. Imprisoned in a mortal shell for incarnation after incarnation he went mad from his conflicting human and mazoku urges and turned on the mazoku. He had his memories, his powers, and his servants, but still each successive identity, each birth and death made its mark upon his mind.

I on the other hand, am exiled here, a thousand universes from the world of Lord Ruby Eye; in a place where all of my magic can not light a candle.; can not summon a single imp. A world where the voice of my master is a whisper in my head that no other person can hear and I am hard-put to distinguish from the whisperings of my own mind.

Is it any surprise then, that as this body ages and matures my mind falls into that pattern the body has set for it? In a world where I am ridiculed and declared mad for service to my true nature, and can do nothing, NOTHING to prove its veracity, even to myself, is it a wonder that the lull of this body’s urges start to erode my will?

With even my master’s voice in absence for nearly a year, over the last few months the siren call has grown steadily more appealing.

I have never, not even in my recent, darkest hours wondered whether or not I was evil. I am evil; I am vice and viciousness and wicked wonder. But when no one around you believes that you are a demon, and there’s no proof such a thing ever existed, it is easy to question whether or not you are one. And the body seizes on the moment of existential doubt and asks ‘even if you are a mazoku, what does it matter here and now? Disregard the voice in your head that says it is your master and maker and live life by your own agenda’.

The human mind is not built to serve; it is built first and foremost to survive, and secondly to lead. It is easy to swear reverence to an absent master who asks nothing of you.

But when a voice you can hardly understand returns after a long absence and gives you difficult, and time consuming orders, it is easy to bitterly decide that the voice is your own mind. For the body to tell you to do as you like.


Last week my mind was at war. The mazoku in me was overjoyed at my master’s sudden return and ready to do anything in his name; but the sullen, independent human was bitter and rebellious, and ready to stick its fingers in its ears and pretend that I heard nothing.

I was distraught. My last really conscious thought was begging, pleading with Xelloss to do something. Show me that I was really a mazoku, burn the human weakness from my soul; show me that he was truly my master.

After that I remember only fragments. Pain, mostly, and the idea of being pursued. But mostly searing, soul cleansing pain. And finally my master’s embrace.

I write now to you as a creature without self-doubt. With time, perhaps they will creep in again but for now: I am become chaos, destroyer of worlds.

And it’s party time.

overlord_mordax: (Default)
PhotobucketI love the webcomic Order of the Stick. Maybe you guys know that. But right now I'm a little annoyed.

I know I'm over-reacting to this, but its been getting to me since comic #700 went up.

You can read it yourself by clicking on the pic.

Go ahead, go read it. I'll wait. It's one freaking page.

What gets me about the page?

Tsukiko; the chick. Previously, she'd been set up as an evil for evil's sake necrophile.

Now we find out that she likes dead guys because she thinks they're misunderstood.

This is what drives me nuts about many "villain fangirls"; they don't actually like villains! If you're just going to write a fic where he becomes hero material, why not just oogle the good guy? It's less work!

Fangirls like that water down the image of us real evil fangirls, who like our men nasty; and it turns the public perception of any chick who likes badguys into some idiot who thinks that they can "redeem him wiff the powah of luv!".

Frankly it makes me ill.

Why couldn't you have left Tsukiko awesome, Rich? I know you think being evil is stupid, and people have stupid reasons for being evil; but couldn't you have given her a different one?


In other words

Dear troubled youths; please to be stop giving us legitimate psychopaths a bad name kthx
overlord_mordax: (Default)

No, you ignorant plebes; that's not what I'm saying! Argh!


And now for something completely different; have a meme.

Your result for The "What Type of Intellectual are You?" Test...

Public Intellectual

You scored 43% empirical, 66% public, and 58% teaching-oriented

Noble, confident, successful! You are The Public Intellectual!

You have the enviable traits of the public intellectual. Unlike many great men and women, you are likely to be widely recognized for your contributions to popular discourse. People might admiringly drop your name in blogs on the internet or invite you to fancy cocktail parties.

However, you may find yourself fighting to maintain the integrity of your ideas. You're very likely to be mischaracterized, politicized, or satirized by scholars and laymen alike. And you may be tempted to stick to your guns, merely out of stubbornness. But when push comes to shove, you're exactly whom thousands of liberal arts major will strive to be some day.

Take The "What Type of Intellectual are You?" Test at OkCupid

overlord_mordax: (Default)
You know you’ve been using a moniker for too long when it starts to feel like a name.

I don’t even blink when people call me Mordax anymore, even offline- I think of myself as Overlord Mordax more often than I do any other name. Saevitia, on the other hand still feels like a net name.

I guess it’s not surprising that I’ve gotten used to being Mordax. After all, I’ve had then name for ten years, and been using it actively online for over seven.

That’s right, it’s a name I came up with when I was 14ish. This should surprise no one. I was coming to terms with my identity as evil, and had declared my intention to become a super-villain. So naturally the first thing I needed was a name.

‘Mordax’ was the result of an hour or so with a Latin dictionary. I wanted something that sounded evil, and dark, but not too cartoony. Something in cool-points somewhere between Darth Vader and Doctor Robotnik, Points were awarded for actually meaning something sinister.

I don’t remember all the rejected possibilities, but I remember the way it felt when I came across the one I would use. Mordax just felt right on the tongue. The X of course, was a big plus, as was the ‘Mor/Mord’, which gave it just the right amount of audible association with death.

And it means ‘Biter’.

Well, even then I considered myself to have a sharp, biting wit. And of courses, I like to bite things (and people) so it really was perfect.

Mordax I would be.

You might be curious about the ‘Overlord’ in front of it (which, I might add, even though I drop between friends, I consider to be my proper title); that has a slightly less glorious origin.

You might surmise that I filched it from the ‘Evil Overlord List’, and this would be a good guess, but was not the case.

I was introduced to the title of Overlord by a man named Mark Latus who wrote epic Sailor Moon fanfiction in the 1990s. He had a character who declared himself overlord, whom I admired quite a bit.

Let me say this; if there had been a gender-neutral title for a royal despot I’d have picked that. But even back then I couldn’t stand the connotations of female epithets. Queen, Lady, Mistress (especially Mistress, eugh!) I could handle Duchess, but it didn’t go with the name. For some reason, Overlord struck me as a good compromise.

Plus, it just sounded fucking cool.

I love pseudonyms, and I can live with my birth-name, but I don’t think any other appellation will live up to Mordax in my mind. If I were the only person with this legal identity I might have it legally changed. But ah well.

Vivat Mordax!


Jan. 13th, 2010 03:36 pm
overlord_mordax: (Default)
An infinite sample set means never having to say you're sorry eventually the dice will come up 'Belgium'.

In fact it will come up 'Belgium' an infinite number of times. And 1, and 2, and 5 and 13 and chair.
overlord_mordax: (Default)
On the Causes and Effects of Awakening Early in the Life of a Popular Work

When I saw James Cameron’s Avatar, I knew for a fact that it was going to awaken at least some people; possibly a lot of people. The movie had a lot of elements that help trigger an awakening: powerful visual imagery; unearthly flora and fauna, even transhuman spirituality. And enough people saw it that odds are, if there were slumbering Avatar-kin out there, they were going to see it, and be moved by it.

Its obvious to me at least that the more people exposed to something the more likely it is that one of them will turn out to be kin of it; not because seeing it makes them kin, but because they were already out there, but didn’t know who they were until they saw it.

cut to spare your friends list. Click for the rest. )

Ps. sorry to anybody on my flist who sees this three times.
overlord_mordax: (Default)
Story: The story is amazing. If you enjoyed the stories is the first 3 Silent Hills, this game will be a joy to you. It has a tight narrative, well acted and superbly paced. The game play and story fit together like a glove. The use of the psychology tests to tailor the details of the story to the specific player are used masterfully, and fit easily within the whole narrative. The characters are all compelling and multi-layered. A fantastic tale for any medium, this game should be played by anyone who is a fan of psychological thrillers.

Game Play: The game play is composed of three "modes" or sequence types. The first type is the wandering type. You search around the town, solve puzzles, take pictures, and interact with various other characters. This is the mode that most advances the plot, and in my opinion, the most fun to play. You get to have a lot of interaction, and just being able to passively observe all the details in the environments is a lot of fun. The puzzles are challenging, but not aggravating, and unlike some prior SHs none of them require strange out of game knowledge to complete without a guide. The atmosphere during these is somber, and moody, and more than a little spooky.

The second type are the Psychiatrist's office where you interact with a doctor, who puts the events of the game in a very psychological light, and presents you with psych tests in order to judge what kind of a person you are, and what to throw out at you in the game. These sections are really intriguing, and add a lot to the story. They're also a little bit disorienting, as you are thrown out of the action and onto the couch; however, this is clearly intentional, and serves to punctuate the events of the game.

The third type are the "nightmare chase" sequences. This is where you drop everything, and run away from unkillable monsters. It's intense, and panicky, and more than a little frustrating, especially if you don't have a good sense of direction as the paths are very twisting, and non-linear.

Graphics: The graphics in the game are surprisingly beautiful and detailed. I found it a shame that some much of the world had to be run through at high speed, because I spent a lot of time in the wandering sequences just enjoying all of the gorgeous detail in the environments. The snow and ice were especially pretty and actually looked real. The flashlight similarly shed light in a realistic manner and threw neat shadows all over the place. The character model's were very good, although Harry's face seemed just a touch rubbery (especially without glasses on).

The wii controls are... a mixed bag, from my point of view. On the one hand, controlling the flashlight was a joy. Using it to *steer* however, was not, and I found myself running in all directions, and at a disadvantage because of my shaky hands. It was also hard to turn during the chase sequences. Shaking off monsters worked really well, although it was tiring; it was difficult at first, but after I got the hang of it simulating shaking off monsters with the wiimote was really very immersive. Likewise I found the cellphone menu to be well implemented and easy to use.

Music and Sound: While not quite as fantastic as the music in previous Silent Hill games, it's still *really good*. It fit the mood well, and was used in a minimalist way that fit the tone of each scene. I quite like the soundtrack, although mostly the vocal tracks.

Overall: The game is a fine example of the series. While the lack of combat is a huge thing to adapt to, the system fits the game. In fact, all of the elements really gel into one great experience. The game is short, but extremely well paced, and has immense replay value because of the psych profile system and multiple endings. If you are a fan of horror, play this game!
overlord_mordax: (Default)
As a child, the actor regularly saw his father hit his mother. Here he describes how the horrors of his childhood remained with him in his adult life

overlord_mordax: (Default)
Leave me a comment saying "I want to be evil."

I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better (probably people I don't speak to all the time, XD).

Update your journal with the answers to the questions.

Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

1.You've seen your fair share of fandom wangst, and I'm sure you're in other fandoms, besides Digimon. What do you think was the biggest fandom blow up?

The biggest plain old fandom blowup I've ever been a part of (in fact in this case I was the instigator) is, as Fandom Wank called it "Terry Pratchett Murders and Grinds Up Stories". I was trying to make a point about how deconstruction/satire of story elements that are supposed to be held as wondrous and enchanting creates a cynical attitude and feeling. Unfortunately I was evidently insane when I wrote it didn't phrase myself very well and I came off sounding naive and ill informed, and then when I was attacked thusly in comments, I stayed around to fight. And I *kept* fighting and made a spectacle of myself in front of the internet. It was all rather amusing, but frustrating to argue with people who had already made up their minds about what I was trying to say, and wouldn’t listen when I tried to tell them what I was actually saying.

Plus, I got called a "vampire fundie" which is hilarious. I prefer the term "vampire purist". XD

2. I've seen that keeping my journal public, especially entries involving the Otherkin, can lead to massive problems personally. (Namely, that my kin have been used as ammunition against me). So I guess my question here is: why do you keep yours public

To be fair, keeping my journal open probably causes me more problems then it solves. On the other hand I'm not one bit ashamed of who or what I am and I'll have at it with anyone who thinks that I should be. As the Major in Helsing famously said, "Gentlemen, I love war." I love to argue philosophy, politics, religion, hell, I just love to argue, and no position is better than that of righteous indignation when someone insults your beliefs, out of ignorance, especially. At the end of the day I don't care whether Troll#967 agrees with me or not, so long as he leaves knowing that I don't "think I can shoot kamehameha out my butt" or am at risk of jumping off a building because I think I can fly. To quote xkcd "someone is wrong on the internet!" and its one of my petty joys in life to correct them at length. I good bout with trolls really gets the blood pumping and keeps my wits sharp. Plus, as I've said before, I'm a narcissist who's in love with the sound of their own voice.

David can, and does, lock his own posts; and I'll keep crossing swords with Anonymous.

3. What's the scariest memory trigger you've had from a past life?

Whoo boy, from a lighthearted one back to one in the deep pit of despair. The scariest memory event I've had was the first one, when I was 14 and didn't know what the hell was going on. I had nightmares that had me on the edge of a nervous breakdown. As I've said on my website, I basically relived a version of the events of Digimon 02 eps 20-21; the fall of the kaizer. But I've already talked that one to death; you can read about it on my website under "experiences" if you like.

I'll tell you about a different one that happened to me just a few years ago. I'm a pedestrian; I don't drive at all. I was walking with my brother Trevor over to the house of a friend of mine. It's a good walk, probably 2, 2 and half miles. 90% of the way there, there's a big, wide road that's always particularly busy, and the drivers don't tend to respect walkers very much, and will try to turn even when you're in the middle of the street and the sign says "walk". Well, the sign said "walk" and my brother took a step out into the road. All of a sudden, and with a feeling of almost physical force, I relived Osamu's death in an instant. It just passed right before my eyes. The car he was hit by, books flying, his stupid glasses laying on the pavement. Sobbing for him to be okay. Back in the real world 'm surprised I didn't freaking collapse. I *did* grab my current brother's wrist and pull him back for no damned reason. We had to wait for the next light. He already thinks I'm a freak, so at least I didn't have to explain to him why my heart was racing and my hands were shaking. It was a terrifying experience that made me feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed for freaking out for no reason in broad daylight.

4. If you could change one thing about yourself, appearance/personality/something that happened in your past, what would it be and why?

Toss up.
If I could change it just like that? I'd want to be male. I've never been comfortable in a female body, but cosmetic surgery just isn't the answer.

If I couldn't have that I'd want my brother to have been a sane, normal human being, responsibility for whom wasn't thrust on me at a young age. But maybe that’s asking too much.

5. if you could add one feature to the internet, what would it be? (And, of course, why). Me, personally, I'd like to add the "reach out and punch someone in the face through the monitor" feature, but technology's not quite there yet.

Food delivery service. I saw it on the Super Mario Super Show when I was like 6- they typed Pizza into the computer, and it printed out an edible pizza. That would just be awesome.


overlord_mordax: (Default)

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