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"The great thing about 'the closet' was the only people it made miserable was the fags. Now that they're all out of the closet, they make everybody miserable."

Fuck you, dad. Fuck you.
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"It is because I say it is. Don't you understand real logic?"

He really said that, verbatim, in all seriousness.
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Why do people make it so hard for me to just enjoy myself? Is it deliberate? Or is it just another case of everyone who likes me being womanish, hysterical and entitled? It seems to happen every time I get close to someone. FML.

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I am tired, tired, TIRED of people imagining the blackest, most obscene horrors they can come up with and justifying them under the flimsy premise that the darker something is the closer it is to reality.

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Because there aren't enough hours in the day, or days in the week to get what we want/need to get done.

Here's what we (barely) manage to get done every week, aside from miscellany: Work job (biggest time sink aside from sleep). Spend night at boyfriend's house. Hang out with best friend. Hang out with other best friend. Play Wajas. Play weekly D&D game. Update Livejournal. Draw personal Art. Participate in ongoing ARG. Get in some reading before bed.

And we'd like to add: 2nd weekly Tabletop RP game. Play World of Warcraft. Draw art project art. Draw Webcomic. Participate in Play by Post RP.

Not to mention the things we'd do but can't find a place to jam in and so have cut out almost entirely: watch TV and Play Video Games.

Oh, and "get a good night's sleep".

And these are only the things we're including because they've got a hope of making it onto the list. There's a whole host of others, if only there was more time.

We just don't have the time to give more than a handful of these things they time they need/deserve, but none of us are willing to give up our pet  projects for the sake of anyone else's.

Oh, and not to mention our parents  get mad at me when we don't spend sufficiently "quality time" at home or doing things with them.
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So I did it. Swallowed my anxiety about it, and went and got a professional haircut for the first time in over a decade.

And I am so glad I did. Not only does it look great (in my opinion) but its great to just have the weight of it "off my shoulders" but literally and metaphorically.

Photobucket Photobucket

Click for larger
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So. Remember the "heinous game of telephone"? Yeah. It turns out my aunt never woke up. I don't even know why I was told that. They're taking her off life support tomorrow.

Unless something changes, this is my last post on the subject.

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Hi guys. Thank you for all the love and support, it really helps.

I'm told she's awake now, but on life support. Unfortunately, since she's across the US from us, all of our info is filtered through multiple relatives in a heinous game of telephone. But what I'm hear is she's stable for the moment.

Thanks again, everyone.

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Our paternal aunt is in a coma. :(

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Finally found a place that delivers that actually makes subs I like! YEAH! Bacon=necessary ingredient of any sub.

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  • Had terrible insomnia last night. Its really a seasonal thing for us; though I think I'm the most affected. Late spring/summer just seems to keep me awake all night. Feels like my skin is full of electricity. I wouldn't mind not sleeping if I didn't feel so damned TIRED, ya know?
  • A nice surprise this morning; in addition to wajas I'm a member of the pet site Aywas, although I don't play very often. I logged in just for kicks today, and found that I'd been randomly awarded a Blue Custom Orb, the equivalent of a Silver Token on wajas, and worth quite a bit. Aywas customs are different from wajas, in that you actually get to design the markings and accessories yourself, so no pressure, right? XD
  • Its no sooner that you meet someone new than they move away... Ah well. We'll always have the internet. XD
  • I have like 3000+ MP3s on my computer. So why does Winamp always play the same 75-100 when I have it on shuffle? It's supposed to be RANDOM! Arghh! t does his all the time, and it's driving me nuts. I have switched to a new music player out of desperation, and I am hoping it will fix this. So far "Evil Player" is living up to its recommendation; it seems way more random on shuffle. The problem is it doesn't play my WMAs, but I can just convert those.
  • Oh, Linkara, I want to steal you and keep you in a jar for my personal amusement. History of the Power Rangers has reminded me how ANGRY I was when they tried to replace Kimberly with Kat. It was bad enough that she left the show, but then the tried to make Kat Tommy's new love interest? Fuck that! Tommy/Kim was my second ever OTP, right after Rogue/Gambit. (David: I must interject here; I didn't have nearly the feelings Mordax has for Kimberly, but I'd meet Tommy at Ernie's Juice Bar any day of the week. ^_^) Also, I might end up doing some Lord Zedd fanart. Hehehehe.
ETA: Aaand... there's not an LJ group for insomniacs? WTF?
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Being stick Sucks. Stupid cold. I hate coughing. :(

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Oh. Well that makes sense. *sigh* Why couldn't you be different?
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Holy fishcakes that boy is annoying to talk to. Please tell me you all are dating him because he's super hot or something. Really David, I know Mordax has terrible taste, but how do you put up with him?

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You know you’ve been using a moniker for too long when it starts to feel like a name.

I don’t even blink when people call me Mordax anymore, even offline- I think of myself as Overlord Mordax more often than I do any other name. Saevitia, on the other hand still feels like a net name.

I guess it’s not surprising that I’ve gotten used to being Mordax. After all, I’ve had then name for ten years, and been using it actively online for over seven.

That’s right, it’s a name I came up with when I was 14ish. This should surprise no one. I was coming to terms with my identity as evil, and had declared my intention to become a super-villain. So naturally the first thing I needed was a name.

‘Mordax’ was the result of an hour or so with a Latin dictionary. I wanted something that sounded evil, and dark, but not too cartoony. Something in cool-points somewhere between Darth Vader and Doctor Robotnik, Points were awarded for actually meaning something sinister.

I don’t remember all the rejected possibilities, but I remember the way it felt when I came across the one I would use. Mordax just felt right on the tongue. The X of course, was a big plus, as was the ‘Mor/Mord’, which gave it just the right amount of audible association with death.

And it means ‘Biter’.

Well, even then I considered myself to have a sharp, biting wit. And of courses, I like to bite things (and people) so it really was perfect.

Mordax I would be.

You might be curious about the ‘Overlord’ in front of it (which, I might add, even though I drop between friends, I consider to be my proper title); that has a slightly less glorious origin.

You might surmise that I filched it from the ‘Evil Overlord List’, and this would be a good guess, but was not the case.

I was introduced to the title of Overlord by a man named Mark Latus who wrote epic Sailor Moon fanfiction in the 1990s. He had a character who declared himself overlord, whom I admired quite a bit.

Let me say this; if there had been a gender-neutral title for a royal despot I’d have picked that. But even back then I couldn’t stand the connotations of female epithets. Queen, Lady, Mistress (especially Mistress, eugh!) I could handle Duchess, but it didn’t go with the name. For some reason, Overlord struck me as a good compromise.

Plus, it just sounded fucking cool.

I love pseudonyms, and I can live with my birth-name, but I don’t think any other appellation will live up to Mordax in my mind. If I were the only person with this legal identity I might have it legally changed. But ah well.

Vivat Mordax!
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Took off from work today.

Imma make stuff!
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Second D&D session with this group was quite pleasant. I bought new dice because my originals seem to hate me. I'm feeling a little bit more comfortable with the character. :D

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I just solved 2 different coworkers unrelated computer problems in the span of 5 minutes; both of which boiled down to their laptops not having an ethernet cable plugged in.

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So, I just got back from the first D&D game I've been to in around a year. It was something Mordax set up, but she's been in the back the last couple of days, and oddly didn't seem to feel the need to come back to fulfill her social obligation.I almost said 'screw it' and didn't go, because I have anxiety in new social situations. I'm glad I did, however, it was nice to get out and meet geeks I don't already know back to front.The DM has a pleasant british accent, and the rest of the table is males over 20, so I got to skip the annoyances that went with our last game that had 3 young teens. Everybody was pretty friendly, and we got along well, even my brother, whose antics managed to earn a chuckle from our fellow players rather than their scorn; and actually survived his first suicidal action (drinking LOTS of unholy water). The Dm was as surprised as I was-- I'll consider it a good omen.

So I had fun. The only problem is Mordax rolled the character (a cleric, at the DM's request) as a Xelloss copy, and I can't (and wouldn't want to) play Xelloss to save my life; so the character was a bit flat.Whether I flesh him out or not depends on whether she decides to play, or leave it to me. I guess we could share if she likes. She bores easily, so it'll probably be that last one.



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April 2017

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